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9/30/2024 0 Comments When Birth Didn't Go to PlanOur Online Meet-Up for January 2023 focused on the topic 'When Birth Doesn't Go to Plan.' This follow up blog post provides a glimpse into topics we might coverin our online sessions & some information signposting on birth trauma and birth resolution and support available. Plans can go differently on the day if you stilll feel good that's okay. But if something happens in your pregnancy, labour, birth or postnatal experience that leaves you feeling sad, angry, shaken, anxious or any number of other feelings you're not alone. When we plan for birth there are lots of things we can control and be prepared for but there are also things that are out of our control, that we must deal with the best we can at the time. It might be something dramatic like a crash caesarean or a baby who needs medical support when they are born. Perhaps, it might be something that seems very small from other people's point of view but actually has a huge impact on us; such as the way someone speaks to you or how they make you feel about yourself at a vulnerable point in your life. Often when we talk about these things we will find people dismiss our feelings, generally with the well-intentioned specific but really unhelpful observations that your baby is here, or that a certain outcome was meant to be and there's always a next time.... and that you're fine now you should get over it. What would be a better response? We can't go back and change anything that happened in the past but we can listen and validate how you felt then, and how you feel now. We can provide some information and support for moving on from this point. We can offer respect and support for the fact that getting over it is not that simple and sometimes further action and support are needed before you can even think about feeling differently in the future. 
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A taste of our online meet-ups. Everyone's experience and opinion is valid. When we set our topics for our meet-ups we try to find topics that will be interesting to a wide variety of people. Often we talk about perinatal mental health and we sometimes find people aren't sure if that applies to them. Even people who have struggled with feeling anxious or low mood while pregnant or parenting can be given the impression by society and the healthcare system that they should just get on with it and not moan because other people have it worse. So for future reference, if you see mental health on our topic list and wonder, yes this is for you. Another important note when we're talking about perinatal emotional and mental health we're not just talking about mums and birthing people. Partners, dads, all parents can struggle during the year or more around having a baby and all of the same things about reaching out for and providing your self with support apply to all of us. Peer support matters.  Hopefully, the tide is turning and we're getting the message out to more people that we all deserve love and support and we don't need to reach a level of not coping to reach out for that support. Our meet-ups (and other groups that connect you with people who are pregnant at the same time or have a similar age baby) are one of the things that fill the gap between trying to struggle through alone feeling overwhelmed and being really unwell and needing medical care for mental illness. Never underestimate the importance of connection with other people (especially people at a similar life stage to you) for positive mental and emotional well-being.
One of the things that many of the people at our recent online meet-up (where we covered this topic) identified with was that they don't always know how to put into words how or why they feel anxious, overwhelmed or sad but when other people talk about how they feel they can recognise that in themselves. Just knowing they are not alone helps many people to feel a little better. Our favourite part of talking about mental and emotional wellness is everyone sharing the things that help them to develop healthy coping mechanisms in the long term and the things that help them pull through the tough moments. |
AuthorPosts by team members who are doulas, antenatal teachers, placenta specialists and birth nerds among other things. Archives
September 2024
CategoriesAll Birth Birth Plan Mental Health Peer Support Postnatal Postnatal Plan |
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